Is it better to be an introvert or extrovert? Great question. I’m glad you asked. Being an introvert myself I tend to think we are…just kidding. The short answer is neither. And here’s my take on why.
Deciding whether you are an introvert or extrovert has become very popular lately. We like to place ourselves, our friends and our family into “either-or” and from there use it to explain all our actions.
(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure here. )
Is it better to be an introvert or extrovert?
I can admit some of the jokes are true. Introverts do prefer to stay at home and read rather than go out. And on occasion extroverts may “talk you to death.” But too often we take sides instead of recognizing both personalities have good qualities. We then use our differences to divide instead of allowing them to sharp each other.
Growing up my family had many jokes about introverts and extroverts, except we called them the “I’s and the “we’s.” Interestingly, all the women in my family align closer with “I’s” or introverts, while the men are closer to “we’s” or “extroverts.” Keeping with tradition my husband is more extroverted than I am, proving that opposites do attract. And that we like and need people that are different than us.
It’s my extroverted friends who will come over at the drop of a hat, are up for any adventure, and are my biggest cheerleaders in life. Their enthusiasm can be infectious and they are everyone’s friend. I know I need my outgoing, people-loving friends.
Introverts may have fewer friends but they will love them and want the best for them with an intensity that makes you want more introverted friends. They also make great roommates and house guests because they will never overstay their welcome and are great listeners!
Strengths in the Workplace
We may differ in personality, but we can also bring our different strengths to the workplace. Need someone to greet visitors at the office or talk to people on the phone for long periods of time? Extrovert. Need someone to quickly complete a task by themselves? Introvert. Although there are introverts and extroverts in every career, we do tend to gravitate towards certain jobs. You’ll likely find more extroverts in performance arts, or even CEO’s. Many authors, speakers and engineers meanwhile, are introverts.
We also have different strengths to bring to the church body and both are needed to make it whole. The Church needs out-going people to the lonely, broken or new person. We also need the prayer warriors and bible scholars who can devote hours to studying and praying and find joy in it.
After all, Jesus was neither an introvert or an extrovert.
He never said, “Oh man, these disciples are really wearing me out today. I think I’ll pretend to be asleep in the bottom of a boat during a storm so I can recharge.”
Nor did he say, “I’m feeling so lonely today. I wish I had 5,000 people to feed just so we can chat and hang out all day!”
Instead, He welcomed little children, beggars, sinners, lame men, blind men and adulterous women. All were treated with love and kindness. He listened, spoke truth and served – even washing the feet of His disciples. He lived our His commandment to “Love one another as I have loved you” (John 13:34).
But occasionally He also spent time alone with his father. He needed to hear from God himself as we need to do too. No one can have a relationship with Christ for us and we must put in the effort to get to know Him ourselves.
“Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed (Luke 5:15-16).
He was neither an introvert or extrovert but demonstrated qualities of both. Can we learn something from that? I think so. Instead of feeling special that we’re “popular” or a “deep thinker” we should learn from our brothers and sisters who have different personalities. How do they reflect Christ’s work in them and how can we too?
Although it doesn’t come naturally to me I often pray for God to fill me with more love – and yes even energy – to pour out on others. Meanwhile, my extrovert friends have confessed their struggle to read their bible daily, or pray alone – especially when they’d rather just be hanging out with their friends. But just because these things do not come naturally to us, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t pursue them. I believe God wants us to be both.
He desires that we read His Word fervently, meditate on it and draw closer to Him through solitary time. Yet we’re also called to take what we learn and put it into practice in the world – loving people, speaking the truth and serving.
For more inspiration on living as an introvert in an extrovert world, pick up the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts In a World that Can’t Stop Talking.
Let’s put aside our “us vs them” mentality because neither personality is better – just different. Instead let us praise God for making us how He did, and thank Him that we can learn from each other.
Introverts, unite. Separately.
Just kidding.
Introverts and extroverts unite!
Let’s Connect! Facebook || Pinterest || Instagram || Twitter
My brother and I have labelled ourselves as introverted, extraverts :). We are a bit of both!
That’s probably the best combo to be!
I’m an introvert but sometimes I want to go out and have fun. But with people I care about and trust. Then I need two days to recover. HA!! I’m a big picture thinker – always thinking of my ultimate goal at the end. Not always thinking of how to get there. I think that’s the extrovert side of me. But eventually I come to a road and force myself to make a plan.
Mindy – sounds like you have a good balance! I like to have fun but also need to plan rest time after. haha
I’m definitely an introverted extrovert! I love my alone time and doing my own thing quietly and don’t being a home body some days. I also love to go out often and be social with friends. Being a combo is great too!
It definitely is! I wish I was more of a combo.
What an interesting post to read! I am on the line of being both extroverted and introverted because on one hand I love being surrounded by friends but on the other I like to be by myself to recharge. It is definitely an interesting balance and I think it is important to have qualities of both sides.
It’s true, we should learn to harness the good points of both, and appreciate the differences in each other. 🙂
I’m definitely an introvert. I’m a labor and delivery nurse and I find that I sometimes have to make myself be more extroverted to get through a particular delivery depending on what the patient needs. Some days I go home just exhausted from having to be “on” all day.
I hear ya. The cool part is that you CAN do that though. Even if it takes extra recovery time you are able to dig deep in order to help those women.
Love how you weaved the verses in this! I feel like I’m a combo of both. Depends on the situation!
For an introvert, I’m very outgoing depending on the setting, people I’m with, or my mood. I find that most writers/avid readers I know are introverted – we live in the books we read and the characters we write.
Julie – agreed that most writers are introverts! But great you can be outgoing too
Your post was perfect! I am an introvert myself woot woot! But, I do like to go out and get some energy from the outside world. Then I need me time afterwards. Its great qualities to being either or. I just think I lean more towards the intro side (:
I’m a super introvert. At times I wish I wasn’t! I feel like, people probably think I’m a jerk lol. You’re right, though. Neither is better! They’ve both got their ups and downs.
I like to say I am an introverted extrovert!
That’s a great combo!
I love this! Such a great reminder to be loving and accepting to others no matter what. I’m definitely more of an introvert, and I work with all extroverts. It can be so exhausting some days, but at the end of the day I try to remind myself that we both bring great qualities to the table. Great post!
Thanks, Cara! It’s absolutely true 🙂
This was so interesting. I love the points you made. I personally have always labeled myself an introvert. I’m the typical home body that would prefer a good book over the company of others any day! =] But I always look at extroverts and admire their personalities. I agree that we all have amazing qualities. Thanks for sharing!
I love this post! It really got me thinking. I think I am an introvert most of the time, but I do enjoy being around people, friends, and family. Thanks for sharing!!
I believe that introverts have more fun. And I don’t say this because I’m an introvert. But we are more quiet and we get to observe more things. Also I have lots and lots of fun with m handful of close to my heart friends.
I definitely think I am an introvert…. but occasionally I transfer to a extrovert haha…. I love being at home. Here and there I find the urge to just GO!
Whenever I take a quiz I am always just a few points more introverted than extroverted. but based on my energy I am 100% an outgoing introvert. I need so much time to recharge after being around other people.
Rachel – an outgoing introvert may just be the best of both worlds!
I think this is so interesting! I identify more with being an introvert, but something my husband and I have been striving towards is being more extroverted and welcoming people into our home. I absolutely agree that that’s the way Christ was, and I love that you pointed that out! 🙂
Beautiful 🙂 Me too!
I am comfortable being by myself with some down time, trying to get something finished. Having said that I travel around talking to large crowds teaching and lecturing. For myself it is balance and having faith.
I think that we can all be introverts or extroverts – it just depends on the situation we are in: Do we like …the atmosphere of the place we are at … the ppl around us …the situation we are in? I know introverted ppl who are very extroverted when in a group of friends and friends of friends – they just need to feel like to be in a comfort zone.
Bora – that’s true! MY family is one group of people I can be myself and comfortable around and not get drained.
Loved this post! I feel like I’m more of an ambivert myself, because I have a fair amount of qualities from both sides!
I love this take on intro/extroverts! Depending on the situation I can be a bit of both. I really like how you pointed out the great things that each person brings and how the church needs both introverts and extroverts. Great and encouraging article!
I’m an introvert with pressure of being an extrovert. The world loves extroverts for some reasons.
Great post, as always!
You are so right! No one is “better” or “worse”. Both introverts and extroverts bring beauty to our lives in a way that the other group could not. We need each other. I tend to be an extrovert, and many of my closest friends are introverts. We balance each other well. And go figure- my closest friends who are extroverts are the ones that are a little harder to have patience with (probably because we see our flaws in each other, haha).
Very interesting subject. Having studied personalities quite a bit over the years, each type has a purpose, both good and bad sides, and each person is unique in their own way. And you’re right about Jesus, He wasn’t either but both at once. Good article.
“Oh man, these disciples are really wearing me out today. I think I’ll pretend to be asleep in the bottom of a boat during a storm so I can recharge.”<— This was cracking me up! I have done SO much studying on introversion and extroversion. I am undoubtedly an introvert myself, but it has never even occurred to me to think about if Jesus was an introvert or an extrovert! This is so thought-provoking for me!
Thank you so much, Becky! And that examples makes me laugh too, but also humbles me that Jesus would never do that!
Thanks for the post. I believe we have both attributes in us. We are extrovert in the things that we love and are passionate about like I love wellness and introvert in the things we do not care too much about.